The Losers

I love going down the cereal aisle at the local supermarket. I’m always excited to find that perfect tasting cereal that I can enjoy in the morning or just before bed. Its impossible for me to decide which brand is my favorited (not a typo!) If you can decide if Captain Crunch is tastier than Fruity Pebbles then you’re a bravery soul than I. After I finally pick my cereal of choice for the week and head for the checkout. Its then that my heart sinks as I realize the box of cereal will cost me somewhere between five and seven dollars. I’m not cheap but come on that’s flippin expensive. It’s inevitable that I pause for a second and say to myself, “Wait a second! instead of Fruity Pebbles I can always get Sugar Stone instead.” Yes that’s right I’m always tempted to go ahead and buy the Maltomeal cereal version of my favorite brands. Thankfully I never do and enjoy the real thing even if its way over priced. With movies though, the stories a little different. 

Hollywood has its maltomeal brand too. For every Transformer film there’s always a Transmorphers. If you don’t want to watch Snakes on a Plane you can always rent Snakes on a Train. I kid you not those are real titles and I’ve partaken in these films with a smile on my face. I love a good old fashion B-movie. They’re campy over-the-top awesomeness that are great for a laugh. If you doubt me please rent the best Jaws rip-off ever Shark Attack 4 Megalodon. You won’t regret it. Now, with the cereal analogy in place for your movie imagine the Fruity Pebbles you bought turns out to be Sugar Stones. If you weren’t expecting it odds are you’d be a little more then disappointed. You just spent all that money for goodness sakes! 

Enter the Losers. That’s exactly what this film is. It’s a maltomeal cereal that’s just not that good. I’m sure you’re probably wondering which brand this film is ripping off. Maybe this will ring a bell? “If you have a problem and no one else can help.” That’s right, in total maltomeal tradition the Losers should have been titled The Kinda A-Team. I know that The A-Team is currently just a TV show but in a few short weeks it will be a feature film. Bold prediction, the A-Team film will do a much better job with the whole framed soldiers become outlaws plotline because it will have one very powerful element on its side; Nostalgia. The Losers had other failings as well. It was overly stylized via shaky cams, quick cuts and slow motion. Just imagine a film with all the bad habits of Micheal Bay, John Woo, Brett Ratner and McG. Need I say more? 

This film did have its silver lining though. The very talented Chris Evans co-stars and steals every scene he’s in. This guy is going to be a major box office force one day and I’m very glad he’ll finally get his star vehicle in Captain America, The First Avenger. He was the right choice for that franchise. 

Until next time I’ll really be hoping that the plan does indeed come together for the A-Team movie. 

The Pretentious Filmmaker

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Iron Man 2

One of my absolute favorite things to do other then watching a movie is sitting out on my back porch with some good friends to chat the night away. Of course a crucial element of the evening is deciding what type of consumables will be present for the conversations that will happen throughout. Yeah chips and salsa will be there but I’m talking about the important stuff. Am I going to have a nice glass of wine at my side or am I going to have a good old fashion tall glass of lager? It all depends on what I’m in the mood for. The wine is always enjoyable; it helps to bring out the flavors of everything else I eat that night. If I choose the lager I know I’ll be getting the same taste every time but yikes that some great flavor. From now on I’m going to have to make that choice when I decide if I want to watch Iron Man or Iron Man 2.

Lets get this out of the way right now. Iron Man is the lager. Its not all that complicated and you know you’re going to get the same flavor throughout the film. I believe this comic adaptation is probably the best superhero origins feature I’ve ever seen. It’s full out fun and never tries to change the tone. I’ll always enjoy it no matter how many times I see it. Now let’s talk about the sequel. 

 

This film is a fine wine. Its got a lot different flavors running thorough out and at the same time doesn’t suffer from the complex fate of some other notable sequels that have come out in the last few years. Just ask Jack Sparrow, he’ll tell you what I mean. I’ve read a few other reviews on this film and they keep trying to say that it gets muddle because it focuses to much on Stark. If they had done their homework they’d have realized that Tony is one of the most complex superheros in the Marvel universe. He's flawed, he’s an alcoholic and truthfully he can be really hard to like at times. Back to the wine analogy, it’s all those little flavors that make it so great to enjoy. 

I really want to give Jon Favreau a hand here. He didn’t fall into any of the traps that a lot of directors snare when they try to make a sequel. They always want to go bigger and better with more explosions and deeper plots. Favreau does exactly this but its done the right way. The story never felt forced and it moved naturally from one plot point to another. Don’t even get me started on Downey. He is as brilliant as always. Go see Iron Man 2. You’ll enjoy it and make sure you stay till the end of the credits you won’t regret it. 

Until next time I’ll be thinking about just how awesome the Avengers could be. 

The Pretentious Filmmaker.

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